


All Too Human

by FrancineFishpaw



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crowley and Feelings, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Human Crowley, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Post-Episode: s10e23 My Brother's Keeper, Post-Season/Series 10, Protective Crowley, Romance, Saving the World, Sexual Tension, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-24 18:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4930279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrancineFishpaw/pseuds/FrancineFishpaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young clairvoyant with a secret plan boards a bus, meanwhile the world is ending and Crowley has chosen a bad time to become human. Crowley/OC, takes place around and after the events of Season 10 "Brother's Keeper" slightly AU as I've stretched out the timeline a little. This is my first fiction so I would adore any constructive feedback and I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank the song Snake Face by Throwing Muses for providing the inspiration for the seed chapter that would sprout 17 more chapters and 13,000 words as a means of providing the backstory I thought was necessary for a sex scene. In fact, I want to thank the entire Empire Records soundtrack for providing me with the necessary angst and teenage fervour to write this behemoth. If only my 15,000 word thesis I was trying to distract myself from by doing this was as easy and enjoyable to write.
> 
> Please read at your leisure, like the dog eared pages of romance novels I've marked the chapter with the sex scene, going by my reading habits, this felt like the helpful thing to do. This is my first ever fan fiction experience so I would love any constructive feedback or even a simple holla to let me know that you're out there. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> \- FF

At one point Crowley got into a heated argument with the bartender about the correct recipe for mixing the perfect Side Car and May turned back to her book. She was eager to find what she was searching for, a reference to the sequence of ritual acts that would open up a gateway into purgatory big enough to usher the advancing darkness into another dimension.

After some time she leant back from her work and sighed, suddenly eager to be rid of the anxiety of finding what she needed to find in her reading. Crowley had been talking, mostly to himself, for some time even though they had been sitting across from each other at the same bench. She got up and stretched her limbs and grunted and sighed. "I mean, how was I supposed to know, growing up with a wench like that…for a mother" Crowley continued to the room in general, and turned his tumbler of whiskey absent-mindedly. May looked at him with tired eyes and sauntered over so that she was right next to him at the bar, she leaned herself on the hard wood ledge next to him and stared at her toes. Then she picked up his glass of whiskey, took in its scent and sipped it before putting it back down. "Help yourself," he said, his eyes tracking the glass from the table to her lips.

Then she leant down and kissed him on the mouth. She kissed him gently, softly planting the touch of her mouth against his. She pulled back a little, and when he didn't jerk away or rebuke her she leaned towards him and kissed him again, boldly letting her lips part a little against him, the back of her fingers briefly brushed his neck. She held him in her gaze, he hadn't moved, he just stared at her with a little question in his eyes. "Well that was unexpected."

Before either of them could think better of it Crowley lunged forward. Some time passed in the otherwise quiet bar and the bar tender discreetly tried to polish some glassware, and failed. May made a desperate sound and pushed herself to arms distance, "I can't do this." She shook her head at Crowley, "you don't have to be afraid of me May, wait! May!" But she had grabbed her work and slung her bag over her shoulder and the door was already knocking backwards and forwards behind her.


	2. Six Months Earlier

Six months earlier…

May and Amy giggled in their seats, they had just ordered their drinks from the cute white boy bussing tables that night. They kicked each other under the table and grinned.  
"Stop it!"  
"You loooove him- you want to kiiiiss him!"  
"You do."

And so on.

"How are you feeling about finals next week?"  
"Eurgh" was all May said  
"I know right? I heard Professor Robinson got fired the other day for malpractice or something"  
"What?"  
"Yeah, two weeks before term ends. That's gotta be serious"  
"What did he do? Finger a first year?"  
"May!"  
They giggled. May enjoyed these midweek breaks from study, it gave them both a chance to blow off steam through mutual bitchiness.  
"Your drinks, ladies." The lanky young man working that night had brought over their order.  
"One strawberry milkshake."  
"That's me" Amy raised her hand  
"And a double malt chocolate thickshake with extra cream and extra cherries with chocolate shavings and caramel sauce"  
"Loaded. Ah, that would be me, thank you – very much" May quipped.  
"That's quite an order you have there"  
"Well, when it comes to milkshakes; if you're gonna do it, do it."  
"Enjoy, ladies" The young man left to another chorus of suppressed giggling.  
Two empty tall glasses later and the two young women are slouched back in their chairs, looking through squinted eyes and rubbing their stomachs.  
"Aaaaawe, why did I order extra cream?"  
"That was amazing"  
"I gotta go to the bathroom"  
"Are you gonna be sick? Haha- May's gonna chund-ah"  
"Yeah- out of my urethra."  
"Gross"  
"Get it? Because I'm actually gonna wee" May backed off towards the facilities making obscene illustrative gestures around her pelvis. Amy made a faux alarmed face at her and laughed.

She was washing her hands when it happened. Things seemed to occur out of order, like when you're coming out of sleep and you jump a moment before you hear a bang. She felt her body slam against the sink, she felt her head hit the concrete floor, then she remembered hearing the bang. She lay there. And she raised herself. And she listened with an empty head and her ears ringing. She stood up. There was blood on her hands, the mirror had shattered. _Bomb_. The word entered her. She grasped the door handle and moved through and there it was, the room she had just left. Except everyone in it was dead. She wouldn't realise that until later of course. First she went to Amy, she was slumped forward on the table so May righted her in her chair. Her eyes were strange, they were open but lax. May called her name, she couldn't hear her own voice though. She held Amy's face and saw the blood that had run out her ears. She felt for her pulse, she felt for her breathing. She took her body down to the floor on the crushed glass and she put her mouth to her friends and pushed air into her deflated lungs. She was still doing CPR when the ambulance arrived ten minutes later. May didn't resist when the paramedics pushed her away from her friend and folded her into their arms. She just watched until the scenery changed. Until her eyes saw that she was in the back of a van, moving away. Moving away from that place.


	3. Hikikomori

After that everything changed. Once upon a time May could control her visions. They came when she let them and they left when she wanted them to leave. But that didn't happen now. Not since the accident. They had said it must have been a leaking gas main. But there was no fire. There was no bomb. One body was never recovered, the boy behind the counter. The one that had served them, the police didn't find his body. When May closed her eyes she saw the room explode, she saw people flung forward like rag dolls over their tables, but she saw nothing else. She couldn't see where the boy went. What had his nametag said?

Her visions became increasingly morbid, once when she walked outside she saw a man on the roof, she saw him fall, and then he did. At night she dreamt of a woman in a car that slammed into a light pole. May didn't turn on the television for fear of seeing the news after that. She started walking during the night to calm her nerves but then she saw a shooting in a stained hallway. She didn't know when it was, she went back into her apartment and didn't leave again. A few days later she was lying on her bed with her eyes open, after a while she got up and walked to the bathroom. Before the razor touched her wrists she saw the paramedics picking her up from the bathroom floor. She did it anyway. And that's what happened. A week later she tried to hang herself but the rope snapped, she saw that too. She was yanked from the building ledge and the gun she bought was cheap and didn't go off. She saw each of these things happen before they did.

And for once she was unsure whether she was seeing what would happen or whether she was making it happen herself.

After the gun didn't work she lay in bed for a while longer, on a Wednesday she got up and left the apartment. As she closed the door behind her she made sure to switch the light off, she wouldn't be back for some time.


	4. Crossroads

It's night-time out amongst fields somewhere and the grass hisses when a small breeze pushes by. May is leaning on the hood of her car, swigging from a bottle and thinking. Finally she seems to reach a decision and she leans down and puts something in a hole in the ground. It's Pandora's box. It's got hope inside. She straightens herself against the car again and pulls out a cigarette. Her hand reaches down to her pocket for a lighter when the air in front of her face is illuminated, she gives a start before realising that the disembodied flame floating in front of her face is connected to a lighter which in turn was being held by someone's hand. She automatically stills and let's the flame touch the end of the white cylinder.

"Good evening, darling" said a man's voice.

It was a middle aged man in a dark suit and he spoke with a thick British accent. May took in his features, what had she expected? Cloven hooves and a goatee? _Yes_ , she thought, _something like that_.

"The name's Crowley, crossroads demon, at you service. How may I be of assistance to you this evening? Eternal youth? Terminal illness cure? Money? Fame? A certain special someone rubbed out of your life forever?"

"I would like to forget…please. And I want to not see things anymore- I mean, I want to stop seeing the things that haven't happened yet, and the things that already have"

"I'm sorry love if it's a good mental health plan you want I hear there are excellent services available throu-"

"No I mean, I'm a clairvoyant. I see things. I want it to stop. And I want to forget what I've seen"

"You sure about that? Clairvoyance's a mighty fine gift not to be squandered, you could make a lot of money on the stock market, pay for all the drugs you need to take the edge off. In fact have you ever considered a career path in hell? We could use someone with your skills down there"

"You can have it, just take it from me"

"I wish I could. You'll have ten years to enjoy your headspace before I call in your debt"

"I won't need that long"

"How very ominous."

He waited a moment before he said "The deal must of course be sealed" May held out her hand. "With a kiss"

"I was thinking more of a convivial handshake"

"A kiss is more traditional."

"It's biblical" May observed nonchalantly, the alcohol had laid a dull pancake over her head.

Crowley smirked. "Clever little one, aren't you."

She straightened herself up from the car and took a hesitant step closer to Crowley, and she noted the way his lids drooped, _bedroom eyes,_ she thought. It was Crowley's turn to close the gap and she tried not to turn her head away from this stranger as his face eclipsed her vision. In the moment that she felt his lips touch hers however her body was lifted and pushed straight backwards. She landed heavily on the ground, her head slammed into the bonnet of her car and the wind knocked out of her. When she registered her fall she looked up and saw that Crowley was picking himself up off the ground a few metres away.

"What the bloody HELL was that?!" But May only stared up at him with a snarl on her face. Her jaw had slammed down on her tongue in the fall and she spat the blood out of her mouth. He had failed. _She_ had failed.

"What did you do?!" In a few strides Crowley had crossed the space between them and, grabbing her by her collar, wrenched her into a standing position. "You failed." She said.

"I NEVER fail, I'm VERY good at what I do. I'm KNOWN for it" but his outrage only made her smile and he dropped her in disgust. "So what are you- a witch? A sssuccubus? Hell forbid, a- a goddess?! Oi! OI! I haven't finished talking to you!" May made no reply, she turned away toward the dark and started walking. She left Crowley, she left her car and she left the box. Crowley stared out after her until he couldn't see her retreating figure anymore. "How interesting" he said.

Some brave cricket started to chirp, excited by the car's lights that remained on and staring out into nothing, but there was nobody there to hear him.


	5. Magic

May's in a white room now. When her head drops to the side she sees white walls in front of which are white trolleys with white cotton buds on them. White on white on white she thinks and her eyes drift down following the line of some snaky cord to her arm, where it stops, _huh,_  she thinks, _it goes into my arm_ , _how does it fit in there I wonder?_ Her thoughts were slower than usual, but she wasn't distressed, on the contrary she felt very, very comfortable with the situation she was in. She traced the line backwards from her arm until she saw that the little plastic tube terminated at the other end in a jellyfish. _No, not a jellyfish_ she corrected herself _that's a bag of water like in the hospital shows on TV, that's what they do when you're in a hospital._ Satisfied she had sussed out the mystery of the tube in her arm she closed her lids and slipped easily back into sleep.

Days later she was sitting up in bed. Very still now as she stared at the wall at the opposite side of the room. The other patients, the ones who could walk and talk, were in the recreation room talking or babbling or screaming, doing as they pleased to pass a Sunday afternoon. Or was it Monday. No it was Saturday. In her peripheral vision May registered a passing body. Someone was wheeling a trolley of books through the ward. _We're not in prison, idiot, we can go to the library if we want, we don't need people to deliver us books_ she quipped internally, but still didn't break eye contact with the painted cement at the opposite side of the room, it was very important that she not break eye contact.

She couldn't really remember how she got there, but someone had stood by her bed and told her she had been found in a state of collapse by a road in Richmond, New Mexico. She made sure she didn't look at the person telling her this. It was very important that she keep eye contact with the opposite wall.

The trolley master ambled closer to her bed, May heard them pause a moment and then something was placed on the little stand beside her right arm. In retaliation to this un-asked for attention May determined to keep her line of vision out of focus and not in the slightest way acknowledge their presence. But the librarian never kept moving beyond her into the circular arrangement of beds, even though there were other patients set up beside her. _How rude,_ she thought. Then for the first time in a long time she turned her head to the side, she looked at the thing that was put down on her side table. It was indeed a book. A tacky, dog-eared cover of a pulp fiction novel stared back at her. May glanced up to look for the duty dodging librarian person but, to her surprise, there was no one with a trolley there, she saw beyond into the hall and the patients at the far end in the recreation room passing by on their daily pacing rounds but no one with a trolley of books. She looked at the book again and thought, _magic_ , then looked up at where the trolley person should have been, _magic_ , she repeated and the corner of her mouth tensed into a tiny smile. _This feels like the start of a movie about magic._ She picked up the book and started to read.

Three months later and May wakes up in the care centre bed for the last time. Not because this sentence is some ominous portent of her death but because it was her last day at the institution. Since breaking her catatonia she had made progress in leaps and bounds. She had started leaving her bed, she had started walking around and eventually she had started to interact with other, living people again. May had clawed her way back to reality, she saw a psychiatrist, took her medication, read books and kept a diary. It was three months later and she was deemed able to take care of herself again. She would be free that afternoon, free and ready with a low paid hospitality job and an apartment on the outside. They didn't know that she had other plans, they were better off not knowing, _she_ was better off with them not knowing. She left the hospital that afternoon with her clothes and a few personal possessions, she left the books she had read; after the first one had turned up beside her that day she had found the remainder of the entire series of pulp fiction novels in the library and devoured them. No, everything she needed was right with her in her army surplus bag slung over her shoulder, including the diary she had written every day, the diary with her dream journal in it. The diary with the journal of her dreams that she never told her psychiatrist about. The diary with the secret dreams that nobody knew about that chronicled the end of the world in it.

The dreams had started the day she awoke from her catatonia, the day her recovery started, the day she found out she knew exactly what she would have to do. She felt the comfort of complete certainty bolster her as she boarded the bus for town, the mystery of the phantom book giver remained however- was she part of some bigger plan that she hadn't the ability to perceive? _Probably_ , she thought, _maybe_ , she thought as she took her seat on the Greyhound and turned to stare out the window. She stretched her mind back to the day it had turned around in the hospital bed, no, she couldn't see the person who had been wheeling that trolley, it was just a memory of a vague, white splodge in the corner of her eye, then the clarity of the garishly coloured cover of that book staring back at her. _Supernatural_ , the title read.


	6. Darkness Descends

Dean slammed on the accelerator and they jolted backwards into the yard. Panic marked their faces and their eyes stared straight ahead at the hulking black cloud that was streaking towards them, not a fields length away now. Dean was about to flip forwards into first when the car jolted to a halt, he slammed the accelerator and the car whined and failed to move,

"Any time now would be good Dean!"  
"I can't we're bogged! The car's bogged!"

The encroaching darkness was 100 metres away now, it swallowed up trees and farmhouses and sheds and all the brothers could do was watch it happen. 50 metres…

Blackness. The car was enveloped by the storm. Inside the car they couldn't hear each other if they yelled- a howling, ripping wind was buffeting the Impala, shaking her in a way that seemed like she might be lifted off her four wheels at any second.

Sam and Dean glanced at each other through the screaming gloom. Outside it was a black murk of dust and sand as it shot past the car, threatening to take her away at any moment. Then Sam's eyes focussed on something besides Dean's head, something outside the window. There was a dark shape there, he could just make out, what was that? Dean turned his head to follow Sam's gaze when three booming cracks sounded on the window beside his head. Both brothers let out a whelp of surprise.

"What the hell is that?!"

Another crack and the glass shattered inwards spraying them with stinging scratches. Air and dust shot into the car and they were momentarily thrown back- then an arm reached in and they heard a voice above the roar. They heard someone shout, "come with me if you want to live!"

The brothers hesitated and squinted while the sand bit at their skin and eyes. "Trust me!" said the hand that beckoned to them.

"Are we doing this?!"

"Why the hell not!"

With one last glance at his brother Dean reached out and grabbed the mystery arm. He pushed himself out of the hole where the window had been, Sam followed him, clutching his brother's hand because out in the maelstrom they couldn't see a thing anymore, their eyes were tight shut against the buffeting debris.

Dean felt himself being tugged this way and that as he stumbled after the person guiding him by his hand. And then suddenly it ceased. He felt ringing silence fall upon his ears and blearily he opened his eyes, he saw his brother next to him, covered in sand and dust with his eyes still clenched tightly shut. He looked around him and saw he was still outside, but he seemed to be in a circle of complete calm, like a huge bell jar had descended upon them that kept the raging air from them. Finally his eyes fell upon the person who had brought them to this uncanny refuge. To his surprise it was a young woman, or what he thought might be a young woman underneath her goggles, hooded jacket and facemask.

She saw him looking at her and she peeled off the goggles and tugged down her face covering.

"Nice to meet you, I'm May"

She put out her hand and, bewildered, Dean shook it.

"Dean. Dean Win-"  
"I know who you are"  
She cut him off.

"Oh."  
"And you're Sam."  
"Yeah, hi- um- where, where are we?"

"This is a little protection spell I cooked up, it should hold while the storm blows itself out. Your Impala wasn't going to last, I'm sorry, the worst of the storm is still coming"

"My baby…" was all that Dean muttered before Sam interjected.

"Not that we're not grateful, to you, or anything but who exactly are you? And why are you here?"

"I'm May." She said again simply. "Long story short, I have visions and I dreamt I saw you two get stuck in your car and I knew it was important that I save you because the world is ending and I'm pretty sure you two have something to do with it- either making it happen or saving it I'm not sure which yet." She took a breath. "The spell I found online. You guys I found on Google maps. I would have gotten you earlier but it wouldn't have worked out." She finished.

"Visions, right…" Dean said sceptically

"So you're like, a prophet, you see the future"  
"No. And yes."

"I thought there were no more prophets. There weren't meant to be any more after Kevin…" Sam trailed off.

May gave him a concerned look. "I don't understand. I'm not a prophet. I just see the future when I…at least I don't feel like a prophet of the lord. I would feel different right? Like I was full of His light- or something? Mostly I just accidentally touch things and then people think I'm having an epileptic fit."

"So what's gonna happen next?" Dean asked.

"Um, the storm picks up. Then it dies down. The darkness stays."  
"Anything else?"

"In my dream I saw blood, lots of blood. And then there was something…big. Something big is coming. Bigger than this. That's all that I know."

"How long have we got?"

"I don't know. Something like this…it's like my instruments have been thrown out of whack. Used to be I could know when and where a thing was, but this…I want to help you guys. I think I'm meant to. When this storm blows over I want you to take me with you. I can still see what's coming around the bend and I can investigate and I can make lunch." She finished confidently.

"I don't think so sweet heart. In our line of work, sidekicks don't tend to last too long you know what I mean?"

"I don't think any of us are going to last too long in any case."

"Listen, you seem like a nice kid, but-"  
"Dean," Sam cut him off "I think she may be right. I think we may need all the help we can get on this one. Look outside. This thing is here and it's here now. If we have someone on our team who can even give us the slightest edge, we need them"

Dean sighed. Sam was probably right.

"An over eager, slightly broken, clairvoyant cook? Sure, why not, welcome to the club."

May turned away so they wouldn't see her secretly pump her fist.

"First things first- you got any chow in that back pack of yours?"

"I brought sandwiches. And some water, we're gonna be here for a good 45 minutes more"

They sat there in silence and ate ham and tomato sandwiches and watched from their protective, silent cocoon as the storm blew past. Finally, when the wind had died down and stopped kicking up swathes of dust they emerged.

All around them the world was caked in brown dirt, trees lay on their sides. The Impala, when they found it, had been pushed up against the side of a shed that was now itself leaning at a precarious close angle to the ground. All the windows had been smashed in. The windscreen was still whole but badly cracked.

"At least she isn't bogged any more." Said Dean.

They pushed the car forward and away from the building, which promptly folded down on itself in a pathetic 'whoosh' of air. Dean tried the engine and, miraculously, it started first go.

"That's my girl," he said to the purring machine "just cosmetic damage, nothing a little spit shine can't fix"

Three doors slam as they all get into the car. But Dean pauses for a moment behind the wheel.

"So…what next?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I need a drink" May chimed in from the back seat.

Dean gunned the engine and smiled "I think we're gonna get along just fine, you and me."


	7. An Interrogation

A huge book slams against the wooden table, releasing a moat of dust from its brown pages.

"Welcome to action central kid, start reading."

Dean slid the huge tome down the table towards May. Sam was looking doubtful.

"It seems like we're pretty beyond the pale here, I mean, we've done a lot of research in our time and we've never come across anything like this…"

"Maybe you just haven't been looking in the right books." May replied and this seemed to give Dean an idea.

"Hey, can't you like, Google search in your head what we need to know or who knows what we need to know…?"

"Um, I'm afraid it doesn't really work like that, you see, I'm not actually omniscient"

"Omni-what?"

"She's saying she's a clairvoyant Dean, not God"

"If you give me an object to touch, like a book or an amulet or…something to do with the seal, sometimes that can tell me things"

"What kind of things?"

"It's past, it's future, sometimes I can see into things, like an insight."

"May, how long has this been happening to you?" Asked Sam

"Since I was a little girl, I was eleven or twelve, I think, old enough to know to keep my mouth shut about it"

"Well, since the mark is gone we don't really have anything of Cain's for you to read, I think our best option is to start with the literature we've got here, Dean and I will look online, our library is down the hall to the left, Smith's Book of Occult Reference is always a good place to start."

"Okay," she said, turning her attention to the thick, leather bound book in front of her "bring it on." She flipped it open.

May leaned backwards in her seat and arched her spine, which clicked in protest. It had been three days since they had started their research in the bunker, three days had turned up nothing on any reference to the Darkness released by the broken curse.

May glanced around the room blearily, her eyes hurt from staring at yellowing pages packed with tiny print for so long. Sam was staring attentively at his computer, the screen casting a cold white glow on his features, Dean had slumped forward and was drooling onto his keyboard where his head rested, eyes closed, fast asleep. May looked up at the clock, 4pm. She realised she hadn't seen the daylight in the last 72 hours and was filled with a sudden need to catch the last few rays before they dissipated. No, she thought, no sun today. No sun for the last three days. They were all that was left standing in the way of eternal darkness. She shivered.

"I'm going to get a drink"

"It's four pm in the afternoon" Sam protested.

"It's five pm somewhere" May picked up her reading material and marched up the stairs

"Be careful!" Sam shouted after her.

"Yes dad," she called "I promise I'll be back before it get's dark."

The heavy metal door slammed behind May as she left and there was an incoherent sound when Dean jerked awake from his keyboard.

"I'm up, I'm up"

Sam shot a rebuking look at his brother but a square lattice of key board keys had imprinted itself across his right cheek and he ended up stifling a snigger instead.

"What?" Said Dean "What is it? Oh there's drool all over my computer, man!"

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed.

"It's been three days and we haven't found anything. I mean nothing. Not even a lead, a hint of something. I think we're looking in the wrong place. Whatever we're dealing with here…we're not going to find it in the common lore books, this goes back, way back."  
"So, what are you suggesting"  
"I think it's time we started asking people"  
"People?"

"People who might know what we're up against"  
"Oh- you mean demons."

"Think about it, demons can be thousands of year old, chances are one of them is going to remember something we can use. Crowley didn't let on everything he knew about the mark"

"But he helped break the curse, if he'd a known something surely he would have…oh"  
"Yeah"  
"SON OF A BITCH. He wanted this to happen. I am going to murder him!"  
"Dean?"  
"I'm going to grab his fat throat and I'm going to-"  
"Dean!"  
"What!?"  
"I've got a plan"

An hour later they had assembled all the ingredients they needed. Sam held open a book and incanted Latin as he read. Dean laid the finishing touches on the cement ground and stood up to look at the pentagram laid out in red paint on the bunker floor. Several bowls filled with herbs, bones and dark coloured liquids sat around the symbol, on the edges of a circle that took in its five points.

Sam finishes the reading and there is another man in the room. He stands in the circle, his head bobbling slightly as he takes in the room around him, there's a frying pan in his hand.

"Well, this is a lovely surprise, I'm afraid you caught me in the middle of something boys- so if you don't mind I need to get back to my apartment because the gas is still running and my eggs will be burning."

The man clicked his fingers with a flourish, then, looking put out, he clicked them again, then he looked down to his feet.

"Really, boys," he sighed "you can be immeasurably annoying sometimes. And now my apartment is going to burn down. I'd just bought it. It's in Belize."

"Can it Crowley. We know you know about the darkness."  
"Yes, Belize is surprisingly lovely in the dark. I believe I made rather a good choice in that."

"You knew what would happen when the curse broke but you let your mother do it anyway."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I was just as surprised as you were when that happened."

"We need to know what you know, to put things right."

"I'm afraid I can't help you, now if you'll kindly break the circle."

"I know how you work you sneaky sonofabitch, you had this all planned out." Dean reached for something metal and heavy looking from the bench behind them and hefted it in his hand,

"I'm going to enjoy this very, very much"

He took a step toward the demon in the circle, noticing for the first time just how dishevelled Crowley looked, normally an impeccably groomed man in a tailored black suit, today his tie was loose around his unbuttoned collar, his hair looked uncombed and there were deep bags under his eyes.

"You look like crap," said Dean "you're back on human blood aren't you. Just couldn't keep away from that humanity. You're nothing but a washed out junkie." "Sticks and stones, darling."

"You know what? You're right." And Dean swung back and brought the thick metal rod across Crowley's face, then Crowley was on all fours spitting blood.

There was a polite knock on the door to the cement room and May poked her head around the corner.

"I heard scuffling."

"Don't come in here May, we're questioning somebody"

"Questioning who?" she replied obtusely and walked in anyway.

"We decided that books could only get us so far so we, uh… decided to ask someone older and much more knowledgeable than us…" Sam said a little sheepishly.

May tipped her head to one side and looked at the man on the ground, it was at this point that he turned to look at her and both pairs of eyes simultaneously widened.

"You." They said in unison.

"You two know each other?"

The man in the suit got up so he could glare down at her from his cage.

"I know you. How do I know you."

But May stood quiet and met his stare and didn't say a word.

"Oooo-kay, May could you come here for a second" Dean gently guided her away from the death glare match she was engaged in, in a corner of the room he leaned down to her and said in a hushed voice

"Listen, you two obviously have a history and that is none of my business. But you reckon you could work some of your heeby-jeeby psycho mind reading magic on him- figure out what he's hiding?"

"You want me to read a demon's thoughts?"

"Hey look when you signed on to help us you agreed that-"

"I know I know, I said I wanted to help. Just- a little forewarning may have been nice you know? Not just 'hey, welcome back, torture this demon'"

"Agreed, next time the world suddenly decides to end I'll remember to send you a memo the week before"

"Hey, don't you be sass'n' me Winchester."

Dean grinned. "That's my girl."

"Don't say that to me."

Crowley stared May down as she approached him.

"So I see you've adopted a new Kevin. I must say this one's far easier on the eyes boys, is she making herself useful around the place? They must have all sorts of work for you, Kevin. Cooking, cleaning, bending over to pick things up. Did they tell you how the last one died. Screaming, with his eyes burned out."

"That's enough, Crowley."

May didn't react to his taunts, she stood at the edge of the ring.

"Give me your hand"

"Buy me dinner first, love."

But Crowley looked nervous now. She reached out.

"Give me, your hand" May repeated. He didn't move.

"What is this?" He protested, but Dean made to reach for the rod again and Crowley flinched and took hold of May's offered hand.

It all happened very quickly after that. There was a rushing sound like water moving through a pipe. May felt something like an electric shock; a deep numb pulse of energy surge up her body, the room was white and she sensed her body falling.

The boys saw Crowley take May's hand and for a moment everything was stillness. Then something happened and Crowley was thrown back against his invisible barrier and May dropped. As her legs fell out beneath her she disturbed the circle. Crowley seemed to suddenly appear beside her, he caught her torso and lowered her gently to the ground before he was gone. Leaving the two brothers agog in the cold cement room.


	8. A Deal is Struck

When May woke up she was in bed. She lay for a moment blinking and thinking about how she came to be there, she pieced it back together. The circle, the demon, the whiteness. Her brow furrowed, her body's weakness disturbed her. She swung her legs over the creaking metal frame of the bed, and set off for the study. There she found the brothers, sitting as she'd seen them so many times before these last few days, heads dipped toward their work. She didn't stop to join them. Where was she going? She heard Dean ask. For a walk, she replied. It's too late to go out now. It's always too late, she said. And the door slammed behind her.

The cool night air (night air? All the time air?) woke her up a little as she followed a forest path that cut across into fields, then to the back of a roadside bar off the highway. She went inside and sat down at the bar and the bartender poured her a whiskey. She tipped him a dollar. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a body walking in her direction. They reached the bar and asked the bartender for what she's having. The sound of his voice was enough to make the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. She turned to see Crowley next to her at the bar.

"How did you find me?"

"Lucky guess" he said.

"What are you doing here?" There was no playful quip in her voice, this was open country, there were no rules in the Buck's Shot Inn that night.

"Easy darling. I'm not here to burst your bubble. The boys and I kidnap each other all the time. It's kind of a game we play, it's how we express our affection for one another. No, I'm here because I want to make a deal"

May looked earnestly from side to side, scanning the bar for would be dealmakers. "With me?"

"With you."

"No."

"Hear me out. Now, after our rather dramatic meeting, and after I put the flames out on my now derelict two million dollar apartment in Belize, I had a little time to reflect on where we'd met before. Your expression tells me that you remember too. I never forget a deal darling, especially one that I failed to seal. I remember your little predicament, psychic powers gone wild and all that, so I came to you tonight to offer you an alternative, regretfully, after this evening's events it seems that I am still not the one to absolve you of your burden, but, I know someone who can help you. All I need in return is a tiny favour, some information from someone."

"No, Crowley demon, I'm not making a deal with you."

"I hope you appreciate how nice I'm trying to be, when I could so easily, _easily_ , make you do what I want you to." Crowley leaned over her as his annoyance grew, "I could find your mother, your father, your best friend, your childhood bloody crush, and I could torture them until they cursed your name into the lowest depths of hell"

May took a sip of her drink and stared at the wall behind the bar, disassociation, she'd practiced it so many times in the hospital, and she could feel it kicking in again now, like an old friend come home. She said "Threaten me all you want Crowley, the world is still going to end."

Crowley deflated, and he switched to baiting instead. "This person who can help you…they know about how to stop the Darkness."

"That's convenient, magical psychic ability remover and key to ending the end of the world? They should be given a medal. The Swiss Army Knife of magical lore, can also cut hair and pick your teeth."

"I'm not-!" Crowley took a breath. "I'm not lying."

"Now who's desperate?" May smirked.

"I tried" he said and turned to leave.

"Wait, Crowley!" May called the demon back. "I believe you. I do." May thought of the strange code that the crossroads demons held themselves to. While they may be nefarious, evil soul collectors, they carried through on their promises, and never, ever collected their prize early, they were, if anything, trustworthy in business. "What is it you want me to do?"

"There's a very powerful witch, she helped Dean and Sam break the curse of the Mark, she knew what would happen if it were removed. Odds are she knows how to put it back."   
"Rowena, you're talking about Rowena, aren't you. You're mothe-"

"Yes, yes. We don't really need to go digging up the family past do we? I can tell you where she is, you find her, work your future mind read-y magic on her and poof, mystery solved"

"And she'll show me a way to remove my curse?"

"Oh, that I'm sure can't be removed" "But you said-"

"I lied, I was just trying to get you to listen to me, kitten. Everything I said about the Darkness on the other hand, is true"

"Everything you _suppose, might_ be true"

"Semantics"

"Not really" They sat a moment and drank.

"You haven't said what you want in return."

"Ah, simple, I want you to tell me if my mother ever loved me."

May puffed out her cheeks and blew air out in a sigh. She took a sip of her whiskey. They both stared at the opposite wall.


	9. Gone Fishin'

The next morning Sam entered the study to find his brother alone at the table.

"Where's May?"

"Gone"

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"I mean she left. Didn't say where she was going"

"And you didn't try to stop her? It's dangerous out there!"

"She snuck off in the night, I don't know, she probably saw what it is we do and got scared or something."

"May didn't strike me as the type to be scared that easily, are you sure she wasn't taken?"

"Absolutely, she left a note" Dean passed his brother a sheet of lined paper that had been torn from a book. It said simply _Gone Fishin_ '.

"Huh, I guess she did leave"

"Looks like we're down to two, amigo"

"Yeah" Sam looked concerned.

 

May found Rowena in a bar in New Orleans, she was sitting by herself, there was a glass of something brown by her left hand. May took a breath to steady herself before she walked up to the bar, she ordered herself a drink. It wasn't too hard to engage Rowena in a conversation, she was drunk, her guard was down and the darkness was always a ready topic of conversation.

"This night just won't let up, huh? The strange thing is, I think it's brought people closer together, families realising what they have you know? Lot of mothers holding their babies tighter that first night." Rowena let out a derisive snort. "What? Don't laugh at me, I know I'm being sentimental. You saying you didn't call up your kids that night and tell them you love them?"

"Hah. Call my son? My son is an ungrateful, *hic*, ungrateful bastard. I wish he _had_ died in the storm."

"Wow, you two sound pretty estranged."

"You could say that. Why can't they just stay small and innocent forever, you know? Why do they always have to grow up and stab you in the back?"

"So you were close, when he was a boy?"

"No, not even then, I was never the mothering kind. Well, there was one…no, I wasn't meant to be a mother."

"I guess this darkness really does make for dreary conversation. I heard the government really has no idea what is going on or how to fix it. Scary huh? Soon the crops will die and there'll be no more food, livestock will perish and then people. And no one has a clue what to do. The end of days."

"So they say."

"Buy you a drink?"

"Sure, why not"

"I'm May, by the way"

"Pleasure" May took Rowena's hand, she felt the oomph of the powerful witch's nature shock through her and forced herself to keep composed. The moment seems to stretch in time, she sees the thing they need to find, she feels Rowena's nature, the moment ends.

"You alright there love? You look a little unsteady on your feet"

"Stood up too fast. Nice to meet you Rowena" _Damn it,_ she thought.

"I never told you my name"

"Yes you did" May said weakly, but she was already backing away.

"Who are you? Why did you come here? You lying little wretch I'll turn you into a fat toad!" Rowena raised her hands and May could only look on in horror, a rabbit in the headlights. All of a sudden she felt hands grip her from behind and a familiar smell hit her nostrils, the faintest whiff of cologne. She craned her neck upwards to see. Crowley. "Sorry mother, love to chat, but-" And they were gone.


	10. Observe and Report

 A familiar place. Crowley had brought May back to the bar he had solicited her help in. She stood, dazed for a second, registering the change in her environment and still catching snatches of moments in her head, naked dances, grinding herbs, bright lights and agonized screams. _Those aren't my memories_ she thought, dimly. Someone was saying her name.

"What?"

"May!" A drink was pushed into her trembling fingers."So what did the old crone have to say for herself?"

"Who are you calling an old crone?!" May snapped and was taken aback."Sorry. Sometimes it goes two ways."

To May's surprise, Crowley smiled. "Not at all. I quite like it when you're sassy"

There was silence as May thought for a moment. "When I touched your mother's hand I got a pretty good picture of her nature, I saw things, I _felt_ things, like a cross section of someone's…someone. When I think about her feelings toward you when you were a child, she was…absent, emotionally, there may have been moments of warmth, but I think Rowena was preoccupied with other things. I'm sorry." Crowley nodded his head silently but his face remained a mask of stone. Suddenly the possible brevity of the news she had just delivered to the King of Hell hit May and she added. "Please don't kill me."

But Crowley only laughed. "I'm not going to kill you. Not even a little. To tell you the truth I'm not in the least surprised. I just needed to know for sure so that when I do rip out her intestines through her nostrils I can look her straight in the eye."

"Oh" said May.

"And you. Did you find what you were looking for?" May didn't reply, and they were both left sitting there, sipping their drinks.


	11. A Hunt and Some Bad News

In the bunker Sam and Dean are getting ready, assorted guns and weapons are thrown in duffels, sandwiches are prepared, and all and sundry are thrown in the back of the car.

May had returned to the bunker the day before and had told them about Crowley, about Rowena, she told them she had found out about a book of lore that contained the means to understand the Darkness. After some heated discussion on the wisdom of her decision to help Crowley they settled into locating the book, The Codex it was called, May had only seen the cover of the book and read the title. The paper trail of auction records and provinences led them to a town in Mississippi, to the estate of one J. Edgar Frobisher, Google Street View showed them a rather ominous looking mansion on the outskirts of the town of Bleaker. The boys were restless, after days in the bunker they were itching to get out and kill something.

All three climbed the stairs as they left, but Dean turned at the door of the bunker.  
"Sorry kid, too dangerous"  
"Whoa wait, I thought I was coming. The book is going to be hidden in that house, I can help you find it."  
"And if there's demons in there? Or ghosts? Or god forbid some cantankerous old man with a shotgun and a bad case of Parkinson's? Sam and I can't be fighting the bad guys and babysitting you at the same time"

"I can keep a look out. I can look after the car. I'll honk if somebody comes"

"See ya May"

The door slammed.

_Meanwhile, in hell._

Crowley was perturbed. A pillar of black smoke dissipated before him, he'd never been one to adhere himself to the old saying 'don't shoot the messenger' and this messenger had given him the unfortunate news that faith in him as a leader was wavering. Apparently his minions were growing exasperated with his tightening grip, they think I'm desperate he brooded weak. It was true, he knew, that his kingdom stood on fragile ground, demon society (demonsiety) was unsure of what the Darkness meant, this was unchartered ground and he had offered no elucidation on their direction, they were craving fresh leadership. Crowley's kingdom was degenerating.

 _This wasn't the way it was meant to go_. He stood from his seat, shuffled from the gloom of his throne room and to his bedroom, where he never slept. One corner of the room emitted a low hum, Crowley went over to it now, he opened a little fridge and pulled out a clear plastic bag filled with something ominous looking and red. He sighed and reached for a hypodermic needle.


	12. The Codex

When the brothers came back through the door they were covered in grime, sweat and blood. Not all of it theirs. Clutched in Sam's left hand was their prize, The Codex, a compact brown thing covered in (what was hopefully) calfskin. The ominous looking mansion they had broken into had turned out to contain an equally ominous nest of vampires. When May heard the brothers come in she rushed to meet them, took one look at their wounds and ran for the first aid kit in the kitchen. She helped Sam clean and dress his injuries, but Dean pushed her off. They washed and ate and were sitting back at the long desk in the middle of the main hall, deciding what to do next.

Sam explained that the book was in an ancient pre-biblical language, a mix of Enochian and the language of hell, they were going to have to translate it. They divided the book into three parts, quite literally, Dean snatched the book from his brother and tore it three ways before either of them could stop him. Sam chided him for being so reckless, while May secretly bemoaned the destruction of a unique artefact, even if it was an evil artefact. This way, Dean figured, no one could get the entire book at once, it was a safeguard, each piece would be hidden by its keeper and no one would know where the other had put it. May reached to take her third of the book, she didn't notice the brothers pause expectantly as her fingers made contact with it for the first time. She looked up into their intense stares, nothing, no afterimage, no premonition, no shock of power. Sam and Dean exhaled,

"Looks like we're doing this the hard way" said Dean.  
"I think we're on the right track, I think this is it."  
"What makes you so sure?"  
"I felt nothing when I touched it"

"So? Isn't that a bad thing?"  
"No, I don't mean I didn't feel anything. I mean I felt _nothing._ I felt… a void. Like a hole where something should be."  
"Darkness."

"Precisely"

May put the pages down and looked away, she got the slightest trembling feeling in her stomach when she made contact with it. _That's ominous_ , she thought.


	13. An Unusual Meeting

It was five pm somewhere and May sat in the bar reading with a pencil between her teeth. She found that she was best able to relax around the unnerving text when she had a drink in her hand, and she was beginning to find the bunker an increasing claustrophobic space to be in.

She was just pencilling in a new translation, (she would photocopy two or three pages from the book at a time, translate them and then destroy the copies so she never had her entire third or its translation with her at once,) when she heard a sound behind her, well, it wasn't really a sound so much as the absence of a sound and the sudden awareness that something was behind you. Like someone sneaking up on you in socks. She knew there was only one person who had done that to her before.

"Hello Crowley" She said, relishing the opportunity to greet someone without turning around to confirm it was them. _Just like in the movies_ , she thought.

"Hello, kitten"

She quickly turned over the page she was translating so that he couldn't see her scribbled phrases.

"I thought we had broken up? Why are you here this time?"

"Seeing as our last little exchange turned out so well for the both of us, what would you say to making a little extra on the side. A wad of cash for you, and whatever amount of time to spend it in that you manage to secure."

"Doing what exactly?"

"I want you to do a little leg work in hell"

"Right"

"Rumour's spreading that I'm not the king pin I once was over on the flip side, I want you to investigate an insurrection, help me weed out the insubordinate, ungrateful little turds that think they can get one up on me."

"Wow, that sounds, dangerous and not worth my while." May took in Crowley's dishevelled clothes and desperate tone, he'd been taking more blood, she realised, the demons can smell weakness and they've started circling. She put her hand protectively over her work "Besides," she added "I have other things to do now, than managing the stability of hell's autocracy"

"Like saving the world?"

"Yes, like saving the world"

"I suppose there's no point in threatening you?"

And May couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing, "Oh Crowley, what has happened to you? You look like you don't have the strength to lift the knife to wave at me. You don't need me to find out if there's scheming afoot, _of course_ there is, look at you, you _are_ weak and they know it and it's only a matter of time before you feel a cold stabbing pain in your back. I'm sorry," she added more gently "the earth may not exist very soon, I suggest that you focus your energy on what might happen to hell when it does- _doesn't_." She corrected herself looking into Crowley's face and trying to gauge what he was thinking and whether he really _could_ find the strength to burst her innards through her stomach wall. For all his pathetic bullying and nagging fear he just looked dejected, he looked tired. May sighed, the encounter with Rowena had instilled her with something of the confidence of a centuries old witch and she was starting to embrace it. "For what it's worth, you're slightly less abominable as a human."

Crowley continued to sulk.

She ordered them both another drink.

"If you take enough blood, will you become entirely human?"

"I don't know, seems to be that way"

"Then why take it? What is the appeal?"

"Sometimes, I miss it, it's nice to…feel things, again"

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Did you know my mother tried to sell me for a pig when I was a boy?"

And that was when Crowley started talking, May didn't know if it was to her or to himself but he spoke about his mother, he spoke about the place he grew up in Scotland, about the children he played with and the bullies who teased him, the hex bags he made to punish them. He spoke about his mother leaving him and the people who took him in afterwards, he spoke about his awkward teenage hood and the girls he tried to kiss. He spoke about the work he did and his son, he even spoke about the deal he made with a demon when he caved to the desire to be a better lover. He recalled his death and his first impressions of hell, all the agonies he endured and those he visited upon others a thousand times over. May cringed at this part of the story, more than the others, Crowley had a gift when it came to describing the intricacies of torture that made her toes curl. But she sat there and listened to him because she found herself captivated by this strange, otherwordly creature spilling his guts.

He was speaking about his descent into demon-hood now, how he got his tail, and May realised there were worse stories to come, they began to roll off her like water on wax, but Crowley, who was on some kind of expiation of guilt trip, wouldn't stop. To her surprise she saw the wetness well in his reddening eyes. _He isn't, is he?_ She thought. But it was true, Crowley was crying, slow bitter spheres of moisture rolled over his face. He described his ascension to power, wheedling and manipulating and dealing and killing to find his way there. All May could offer was the occasional "uh-huh" and "sure" and "oh my."

It was getting dark outside, well, it would have been getting dark outside as May noted it was several hours after the time of the afternoon at which she arrived at the bar.

Crowley was slowing his manic momentum, he was approaching the moment,

"-and that's how I met the Winchesters"  
"Ah. And here we are. You should have killed them then. You would have, wouldn't you? Knowing that you'd ever end up here?"

He paused for a while and thought, then opened his mouth as though to reply with the obvious response, but then he closed it again.

"And then I thought, bollocks to this and I left-" he continued as though she had never asked the question.


	14. The Present Day

At one point Crowley got into a heated argument with the bartender about the correct recipe for mixing the perfect Side Car and May turned back to her book. She was eager to find what she was searching for, a reference to the sequence of ritual acts that would open up a gateway into purgatory big enough to usher the advancing darkness into another dimension.

After some time she leant back from her work and sighed, suddenly eager to be rid of the anxiety of finding what she needed to find in her reading. Crowley had been talking, mostly to himself, for some time even though they had been sitting across from each other at the same bench. She got up and stretched her limbs and grunted and sighed. "I mean, how was I supposed to know, growing up with a wench like that…for a mother" Crowley continued to the room in general, and turned his tumbler of whiskey absent-mindedly. May looked at him with tired eyes and sauntered over so that she was right next to him at the bar, she leaned herself on the hard wood ledge next to him and stared at her toes. Then she picked up his glass of whiskey, took in its scent and sipped it before putting it back down. "Help yourself," he said, his eyes tracking the glass from the table to her lips.

Then she leant down and kissed him on the mouth. She kissed him gently, softly planting the touch of her mouth against his. She pulled back a little, and when he didn't jerk away or rebuke her she leaned towards him and kissed him again, boldly letting her lips part a little against him, the back of her fingers briefly brushed his neck. "Huh" she said when neither of them had ended on the floor after she touched him. She held him in her gaze, he hadn't moved, he just stared at her with a little question in his eyes. "Well that was unexpected."

Before either of them could think better of it Crowley lunged forward and they joined again. Some time passed in the otherwise quiet bar and the bar tender discreetly tried to polish some glassware, and failed. May made a desperate sound and pushed herself to arms distance, "I can't do this." She shook her head at Crowley, "you don't have to be afraid of me May, wait! May!" But she had grabbed her work and slung her bag over her shoulder and the door was already knocking backwards and forwards behind her.

Three days later Sam, Dean and May were standing around the big table with eighty pages of translation laid out in front of them. "This, this is the important part" said May and motioned to three pages on the upper left hand side of the table. "This tells us that the first full moon phase after the seal is broken will herald the arrival of something called the 'Titan'"

"Great so we know that some great big bad wolf is coming from over the other side of the twilight zone but how do we stop it?"

"Words." Said Sam flatly.

"Words?"

"Well, an incantation. We have to lure this Titan thing to a particular place, the ritual is described on page 233 of the translation. When we get it there three verses have to be spoken, it's kind of like, the words become the physical objects. The first verse is the key, the second is the lock, and the third is…"

"The key locks the door."

"Exactly"

"Right so, what kind of timeframe are we talking here?"

Sam explained they had less than 48 hours until the moon had completed an entire cycle from the day they broke the seal.

"Of course" said Dean and May replied in a pluckier tone "Right, you boys get together what we need. I'm going on a booze run."

"Excellent idea. Bring beer. Lot's of beer."


	15. If You Want to Skip Ahead to the Sexy Chapter, This Is It

“Carry on my wayward son! There’ll be peace when you are gone!” Music blared out of the bunker speakers, it had been Dean’s turn to choose the music and the obviousness of it all made May giggle with glee. They swigged from their bottles and laughed like the world wasn’t ending, Dean grabbed May and swept her up into a spin and shouted the lyrics in her face while she threw her head back and laughed.  
“Once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse behind this illusion…”  
Suddenly she found Dean was staring too intensely into her eyes, the lull in the music had made them slow dance into each others’ grasp, for a moment she felt his lips on hers. And then the moment was gone, they were swept back up into the chorus, giddy in their drunken abandon.

She left them dancing, well, Dean was pulling Sam onto their impromptu dance floor while Sam tried to push him off. Outside the air was cool on her burning cheeks, she could feel her heart pattering in her chest and she knew it wasn’t from the dancing. May had had anxiety attacks before so she knew what was coming, her breath began to push in and out of her as though it were belabouring the point, and then the tears began to roll down her face. It hits her then, just how scared she is.

She doesn’t want them to know, so she chooses her direction and starts walking in it. Nobody really knows her at the bar, it’s her safe place, it’s always dark and nobody questions your tearstained face or your proclivity to drink for extended periods of time, not in these days anyway.  
May sat in a booth and fondled a whiskey tumbler. She stared at the ripped upholstery of the seat opposite her until she felt something tweak in her stomach and someone close by her said  
“Don’t go there with them tomorrow. Come with me, to hell, where it’s safe”  
“Hello Crowley”  
The man in the black suit took a seat across from her and continued,  
“Look, ‘A’ for effort and all, your moral compass is assuredly in the right place but you and I both know that tomorrow is going to be a suicide mission”  
“Yes, probably. Maybe. So?”  
“So? So run away!”  
“No.”  
“Come with me to hell, when earth is burnt to a crisp or what have you, we’ll shed a tear and then return, I will be king of hell and earth and you will be my queen, to rule at my side and also to a lesser extent do my bidding, May.”  
“The thing is, and thank you for the offer by the way, but the thing is Crowley, I think you’re thinking of someone else. And if I was that person, if I did say ‘yes’ to you, I don’t think you would like me any more” Crowley thought about this for a moment,  
“No, I don’t suppose I would”  
“You like me,” May said it in a teasing voice, the alcohol and the end of the world, she found, had worked wonders on her inhibitions.  
“Don’t be so ridiculous. The only reason I may appear to care about keeping you alive is because you can see the future and that is a valuable asset.”

“Nah-ah, mister blood addiction anonymous. See, I think you like that I’m a bleeding heart, you like that I reign you in, you like that I’m the grasshopper to your Pinocchio and you like being torn between your two natures, you’re a pervert for masochism. But maybe I don’t want to be your grasshopper anymore.”  
Crowley took this in.  
“And another thing,” May continued before Crowley could reply “Disney in their infinite wisdom changed the story. Pinocchio murdered the grasshopper. The grasshopper was his conscience. So consider this my beating you to the punch you stupid, wooden puppet.” May grinned into her drink.  
“Huh, I must say, I enjoy it when you’re drunk and belligerent”  
They cheersed each other

 

“You know, I quite like you, sometimes” May said suddenly.  
This time it was Crowley’s turn to lean in. May felt the rough brush of his stubble press into her cheek.  
A moment later when they parted she was breathing raggedly into Crowley’s mouth, “Your move” was the last thing she said before the bartender heard what he thought was a snapping sound and he realized the room was absent two members.

Her stomach lurched when she registered her surroundings again, they were different, she wasn’t in the bar anymore but Crowley was still next to her, he had been holding her arm lightly but let it go now to walk over to a cabinet. They were in a dim room with stonewalls and polished wooden furnishings.  
“Is this hell? Have you brought me to hell?”  
“Like it? I decorated myself. Drink?” She wordlessly took the tumbler from his hand and swilled the strong liquid before gasping and handing it back to him, she nodded and he poured her another.  
“You sure you want to do this? I had you pegged as more the goody two shoes non-demon-shagging type to be honest.”  
“Stop speaking.” She said and abruptly grabbed his tie and pulled him to her. “Two conditions,”  
“Name them.”  
“You can’t take my soul, I know what happens when you do the kissy thing. And two, you return me _unharmed_ when I’m done with you.”  
He smirked as though he were pleased “I accept.”  
“And you can’t tell anyone about this.”  
“Ah, alright. And as for my terms”  
“You don’t get any terms”  
He let out a rasping laugh. “That’s my girl”  
“Say that again”  
“That’s my girl” Crowley repeated slowly. May tapped her ear with her index finger and Crowley leaned down with his hand on her throat and whispered.  
May’s eyelids drooped and she exhaled. But when she felt his lips press against the dip of her neck she gasped and there was a smash as the glass rolled uselessly out of her slackened grasp.

“Put your arms down” she said. Both of them were very still now, their movements slow and languid. Crowley made no resistance, he obeyed and let his arms drop limply to his sides. May slid her palms up over his chest and under his jacket, with one gliding movement downward his coat slipped to the ground. She kissed him again. But he was eager now and his hands sought her collar, collecting it in his fists he pulled sharply and one or two buttons tinkled to the ground somewhere.

 

They locked eyes, wordlessly he picked her up like she weighed no more than a child and walked her into a bedroom where he laid her out on a bed. Her eyes strayed to the canopy of the solid four-poster she found herself in. She felt Crowley’s surprisingly soft hands move her skirt up to her thighs, but he didn’t touch her _there_ yet. Instead he removed both her shoes and then she felt soft tickling kisses on the soles of her feet, she giggled and twitched trying to pull away, trying not to kick him in the head. He held her firmly, his lips touched the side of her heal and then the ball of her ankle, he took his time. She kept her eyes closed, concentrating on that delicate pleasure that so often eluded her when she started to think too much when a man touched her. Her excitement grew and she squirmed as he reached the apex of her legs, he pressed his nose to the fabric of her underwear and breathed in theatrically, May giggled and blushed. Crowley raised his head and grinned cheekily at her from between her thighs.

He straddled her and started to undo the rest of her buttons, pulling her shirt free from her high waisted skirt and laying it out so that her torso was fully exposed. _Like ministrations_ May mused to herself, _I’m being ritually prepared_.

When he had finished he leaned back and stared at her thoughtfully, his eyes seemed to drink her in, they were almost tender. He sat like that for a long time and she was just about to tell him that her legs were falling asleep when he leaned forward and took his hands over her torso, he let one hand rest on her chest in the furrow between the swell of her breasts. He seemed to be struggling with some inner battle because confusion swept across his brow for a moment, as though he was bemused by the warmth of her skin or the faint beat of her heart under her ribs, as though he was taken aback that she was alive, like he’d forgotten.

She raised herself up to his lips as if to reassure him, and with her hand on his chest she gently guided him down onto his back. _My turn,_ she thought. Crowley was a stout man and his chest was like a barrel; reassuring and thick. She ran her hands over him before she dipped her head down and, feeling daring, she grabbed his throat and pushed his head back and bit into the soft flesh of his ear. To her surprise and delight Crowley moaned, there were few things that pleased her like a man sounding his ecstasy.

She got off him and moved to the end of the bed where she removed his shoes, playfully tickling the soles of his feet, testing his reaction, it seemed the king of hell _was_ ticklish. When she climbed back on top of him she could see his mounting pleasure was starting to show through. As she kissed him she unhooked her bra and let the yielding flesh of her breasts fall against him. Things started to move faster now as Crowley raised himself and took hold of her chest, “magnificent” was all he said before lunging into her.

When they made love it was not as May had expected. It was firm but gentle, slow but intense, she had held so much fear that Crowley would demand something more from her. After centuries of sex and Satanism she thought perhaps it would be something she couldn’t give. She realised afterwards that this was perversion for Crowley, tenderness and thoughtfulness, _that_ was his grotesque. _He’s come full circle back to humanity_ , she thought, but this made her smile to herself, casting her recollection back to that night in a warm bed in hell, _well… almost full circle._


	16. Persephone in Hades

Two figures lay amidst crumpled sheets. One of them sat bolt upright.

"What time is it?"

"It's 9am in the bloody morning and I refuse to be awake at this ungodly hour, it's unseemly for a demon"

The one who'd spoken first jumped from the bed, dragging the sheet held at her chest with her as she moved towards what she thought was the bathroom. The covering moved with her and revealed the recumbent figure of the demon Crowley on the bed, naked except for a pair of red satin boxers.

"Whoa! That is not a bathroom." May, the one with the sheet, had found the room that was about the size of a bathroom, but held nothing like a shower or a toilet. "I was going to tell you about that"  
"Save it."

She was pulling on her skirt and her blouse, her underwear were somewhere, it didn't matter, she had to leave.

"Okay, beam me up Scottie"

"Don't go" Crowley sat at the side of the bed, suddenly dressed, suddenly serious, it caught May off guard.

She walked to him and like a little boy he put his arms around her middle and buried his face in her stomach. May stood and stroked his head for a moment while he was miserable into her skirt. Something caught in her throat, but before she could let it climb any further up she made Crowley stand up, kissed him again and said "Take me home, Crowley."


	17. A Terrible Family Reunion

They were in the bar, it was too early for it to be open and so they found themselves in a dark, empty room. Almost empty.

"Son! So nice to see you. And you've brought your little friend with you as well, how nice, I was beginning to think you'd never show up." Crowley wheeled around but Rowena had already raised her hands to subdue him.

"You insufferable bit-!" She cut Crowley off.

"Now, don't be like that. I simply wanted to talk to you. Well, to your lady friend actually." May took a step away from Rowena, her eyes wide with fear. "You see," she continued, addressing the young woman now "after our brief introduction was rudely cut short, I did a little digging, I thought- I can't have my son, darling that he is," Rowena ran her palm gently across her son's cheek when she said this "consorting with some woman he hardly knows, why, he could be hurt, betrayed even and then where would he be? So I asked a few of my well placed connections and I found out our young May has been hurt before, and suffered for it…poor dear, turns out she's just a wee lamb caught up in the wolf's den."

Crowley let off some choice curses at his mother but he was powerless to do more than that. May glanced around the room, trying to locate anything that might serve as a weapon.

"Let me tell you a story, don't worry, it's short and the end has a real kick to it." Rowena continued chirpily. "I performed the spell that released the darkness onto the earth. Do you know what the final ingredient was for that spell? It was the blood of the thing that I love most, Fergus, obligingly, found that thing, it was a boy, a boy I had cared for once upon a time and had given immortality, Fergus took him and made me slit his throat. This would have been, oh, six months ago now. His name was Seth, he'd been working in a diner in Richmond, now, what was the name of that place, I think you know it actually, Pam's? Pal's?"  
"Pearl's" said May. Realisation was dawning on her.

Crowley looked confused "What the bloody hell are you babbling about?" He saw the look on May's face then. "Don't listen to her, May, she's a manipulative, lying spawn of evil!"

"Oh," Rowena sighed gently, "I'm afraid she's got your number now, Fergus."

"Would someone _please_ tell me what the hell is going on"

"That's why I couldn't touch you… I didn't want to know. I didn't want to see." May's voice barely broke a whisper.

"See _what?_  None of this makes any sense!" May had a strange, unfocussed look on her face, "you killed everyone…Just as a matter of course. Because you were in a bad mood. Because it would be more dramatic,"

"I may have racked up a slight body count that evening, sure. Demon me has a little less hesitation in the killing department, but what has that got to do with anything?"

Tears sat poised in May's eyes, but they didn't spill over. She just nodded her head ever so slightly, as if coming to some realisation.

Rowena turned to Crowley, a smirk on her face. "I like her," she said.

"If you lay a finger on her, I'll-"

"Now stop fussing, I'm not going to harm either one of you. In fact, I want you both to live long lives and I want you to head into eternity, Fergus, knowing that she will never ever forgive you. The one thing you came close to loving in your life and you've destroyed it, you've done all the work for me, dear."

"I don't understand,"

"Oh, poor, slow boy. I'll explain it to you. Our May was there, at the diner that night Fergus, you murdered her friend while she was in the washroom, your gift for dramatic flare never ceases to impress it seems."


	18. The End

Rowena was true to her word, she let May go unharmed and the young woman left without a backwards glance. The next twelve hours passed by in a blur, the end of the world seemed to have that affect. At six in the evening the earth shook and a storm blew up somewhere over West Texas, words were screamed and lights flashed. At some point the end of the world was averted. May did not survive. She realised she had died when she woke up in a bright space, she felt calm and no longer in pain. Her last memory had been jumping into the void in a desperate attempt to finally get the door to seal one final time. _Yep_ she concluded _I am definitely dead_. She experimentally lifted where her hands should be and was relieved to see her body still appeared to be intact. She raised herself to her elbows and squinted around, trying to get some grasp on her surroundings, the field of white that surrounded her made her dizzy, it was impossible to gauge distance and size when there were no distinguishing features in a landscape, not even shadows.

Then she noticed a smudge on what may have been the horizon, there was a figure, steadily making their way towards her, they moved quickly, or the distance was shorter than she thought it was because soon they seemed to be much closer to her.

She saw the woman's dark brown hair, her features came into focus. "Amy!" May breathed her friend's name, relief rushed through her body and pushed tears out through her eyes. Her friend embraced her without a word and they both stood there for a long time holding each other like that.

"I'm so happy, I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" the words gushed out of May incomprehensibly while her friend watched her calmly, a gentle smile on her lips. "I'm dead aren't I? Is this heaven? Are you even real?"

Then Amy finally spoke, "yes," she said.  
"Yes? Which one is yes?"  
She smiled, and May felt relief and happiness rush through her body all over again. "Yes, to all of them," Amy continued, "you stopped the Titan coming through when you pushed through that door, but it ripped your body apart-"

"Gross"

"-so we brought you here"

"And here is heaven?"

"Sort of, it's not always this white, you actually get to choose where you go and what you do. Where we are now, this is kind of like…a hallway between rooms"

"I'm so sorry,"

"Why are you sorry May?"  
"I'm sorry you died and I didn't, I'm sorry I was with the man who murdered you, a soulless demon and perpetrator of the massacre of thousands of innocents…shoot that sounds bad out loud. Please forgive me, I missed you so much."

Amy brought a hand to May's face to wipe away a fresh round of tears and considered her friend tenderly, she held her close again, as she did so the air around them began to colour, green emerged around and below them and blue above, a whole world materialised and brought itself into clarity, it was a park on a sunny afternoon. May looked around her in awe "Johnson Reserve!" She laughed and knelt down to push her fingers into the soil and stare at the sky, it was blue, the rays of the sun hit her skin and she felt their warmth, it had been too long.

Amy beamed at May's heaven, "nice choice," she said, before her face became serious "you're not a bad person May, you deserve to be here. I want you to know that I never, ever lost faith in you, not for a moment. You loved and you forgave and you were earnest and strong, there is nothing to forgive- you're not meant to be able to cry in heaven," Amy looked at her friends tear streaked face and laughed gleefully, they both did. "So," she continued teasingly "just to be clear I hold no grudges against you for falling in love with a homicidal, soulless, addict, failing dictator, who murdered me."

May laughed "Man, I sure can pick 'em"

"Classic May."

"Classic Me. On the upside, I guess I'm in no danger of meeting anyone like that up here,"

"Hmm, you might be surprised," Amy replied, her answer confused May and she turned to ask her what she had meant by it, but was surprised to find that there was nobody there, Amy had disappeared.

She was standing in a patch of dappled sunlight, feeling it on her cheeks and arms when the hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle. There was a damp absence of sound for a moment and May's eyes flicked open. Then someone behind her said "Hello, darling."

The End.


End file.
